James Franco is the new spokesboy for Gucci’s Pour Homme cologne (smells just like Pineapple Express!), while Brad Pitt is holding hands with Kiehl’s, developing an Aloe Vera Biodegradable Liquid Body Cleanser (come October!); 100% of sales will benefit JPF Eco Systems, supporting global environmental initiatives that “minimize impact on the environment through thoughtful design.”

BFF is tricked by a clever headline! If only Reese had actually delivered the silencing 1992 comeback “Yo Mama!” to TMZ …

Jared Leto won’t quit his “happy, healthy” band, 30 Seconds to Mars, despite the “ridiculously overblown lawsuit.” Virgin wants $30 mil for failing to deliver on a five-album contract. Jared wants a neverending supply of eyeliner.

Paris hugged Lindsay on a dance floor. Which triggered a long-ago memory that the two had stopped speaking. Sorta.

Taylor Hanson’s MMMBop energy is now devoted to his 24-year-old wife. They’re expecting their fourth child. He’s 25. In fact, all of the Hanson brothers love them some procreation.

The New York Times revealed that loads of regular people are getting their news from Jon Stewart — in lieu of The New York Times!! Say wha?! I get mine from Stephen Colbert.

Photos: HRC/WENN; WENN

(Call her "Christina Applegate, Cancer Survivor.")

“They got everything out so I’m definitely not going to die from breast cancer.”

– Christina Applegate, on the cancer that was discovered in her boobs and announced to the public 15 days ago. It’s gone! Wooo!

Read more here about her double-mastectomy surgery and the reconstructive surgery she’s getting over the next eight months.

Source: Christina Applegate ‘100%’ Free of Breast Cancer (GMA)

Photo: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN

All day, I’ve been rolling my eyes about Lindsay’s lesbian lover — the one before her much-publicized romance with Samantha Ronson.

But it just hit me: Courtenay Semel, Lindsay’s purported first deflowerer and Tila Tequila’s latest flavor (also the daughter of ex-Yahoo wig Terry Semel), is this girl that was perpetually late/disorganized/disheveled for this summer writing class I took in college. A perfectly nice girl. Never found out how nice!

Apparently, she and Lindsay met at a Malibu party in 2006. There’s a fascinating reveal in a UK rag with a Courtenay pal telling all. She said:

“They’d kiss and touch each other in the corner. It’s a miracle nobody found out.”

“Both of them would do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together.”

Courtenay told her so-called pal: “We were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart.”

“Courtenay still can’t understand how Lindsay is now so open with Samantha. Every time she sees a picture of them together, it kills her.”

Doubt Tila appreciates her sloppy-seconds status.

And by the way, it was a fiction-writing class.

Source: My secret lesbian lust with Lindsay Lohan (News of the World)

Photos: Apega/WENN; WENN

(What? Please, I am not speed-dialing you!)

Star reports that so-desperate Kate Hudson is speed-dialing the hell out of so-desperate Owen Wilson, and he’s taking the calls. Lance’s Tour-de-Abs ain’t got nuthin’ on Owen’s Tour-de-Mental-Instability.

Phases happen, right? So, if Kate’s speed-dialing is helping her speed-dating and Owen eats it, then Star, you get a polite golf clap.

Source: Kate Wants Owen Back! (Star)

Photo: JSB Media/WENN

Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell filled in the remaining holes of Heath Ledger’s role in Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (well, those three fellas almost equal a Heath). They’re also filling Matilda Ledger’s bank account with lots and lots of Benjamins.

When Heath’s little girl grows up, she’ll be thrilled to know that Uncle Johnny, Uncle Jude and Uncle Colin gave up their salaries just for her.

Director Terry confirms that the three men “didn’t take money.” He also finds it “extraordinary” and “wonderful” and cites it as “why I went into the movies in the beginning — I thought it would be full of wonderful people.”

No release date is set yet, but the film sounds like a wild circus.

Fist pumps to Johnny, Jude, Colin, Matilda and, of course, Heath.

(Heath, pushing Matilda around Manhattan.)

Source: Heath’s tot gets aid from stars (The Sun)

Photos: Apega/WENN; WENN; WENN; AT/WENN

(Honor is my little girl. These, here, are my big girls.)

Throughout her pregnancy, Into the Blue Jessica was my computer desktop wallpaper. Finally: something of a comparable update is available.

This one is close — but not quite there. No doubt, Jessica looks incredible post-Honor, but she could stand to look a bit sexier. Less Molly Ringwald. More fuchsia. Less of the cliched baby-girl-room pink, you know? Gimme some va-va! Not how-fast-and-easy-can-I-get-a-breast-pump-on-in-this-dress? This is a WORK IT, but with mild pause.

Long ago, she told me she’d never get on the short-skirt bandwagon, but I still hope.

(Phew! Prom dress still fits.)

Photos: Apega/WENN

(Look, Mum! No shoelaces!)

Daniel Radcliffe can’t take it! He wants you, his people, to love him and his alter-ego once more! He can’t stand the back-talk! (Maybe if it were the silent treatment …). Daniel Radcliffe is sorry — to EW and to impatient Potter fans who were expecting some wizard-canoodlin’ this fall.

But now it is us that must feel sorry for him, Daniel Radcliffe, who suffers from a brain disorder that makes tying shoelaces really, really difficult. Shame on us for being upset with him for a few days. (We’ll wait for Harry Potter through the Fall and Winter Equinoxes. And give up shoelaces, too. Fine.)

Dyspraxia, a condition that can cause problems with coordination, has afflicted our favorite famous boy long before he was cast as Harry Potter. Shh, NY Daily News, don’t tell.Or … do tell.

Source: ‘Harry Potter’ star Daniel Radcliffe has dyspraxia, a brain disorder (NY Daily News)

Photo: WENN

Roseanne’s blog is the only inanimate object daring enough to cast “evil” and “vacuous” judgment on Earth’s Most Adored: Angelina, Brad and all the Jolie-Pitts. The judgment, however, is a timid move and directed at Angelina’s father, Jon Voight.

(Last year, Roseanne called Britney a bad mother. She’s so in touch with celebrity news!)

Of Brangelina — or ’scuse me, Jon Voight’s “evil spawn,” Roseanne writes (unedited):

jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin’).

Also miss jolie says she likes mccain too and hasn’t decided who to endorse….huh? Aren’t you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party’s worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa…??????!!!!

(for that matter, the thai and cambodian sons you are photo’d with weekly too who’s pictures you sell to raise money to help the poor? Their families are victims of America’s right wing military incursions too. Mccain wants to continue with the idea of war for profit…the americans are over that thinking now! They have drugged our troops and lower classes into supporting their oil business atrocities for long enough. We want to save not lose our souls thank you. Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death. Ps….it might be good for your asian and african children’s self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.)

Roseanne, now go back to your TV show and reenact the model slovenly American family. Oh, but it’s cancelled.

Source: Roseanne Blasts Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt as “Evil, Vacuous” (Us Weekly)

Photos: Patricia Schlein/WENN; WENN