The rolled-up jeans effort of Katie Holmes, day in and out, as she rehearsed ad nauseum for All My Sons — the anti-Scientologists didn’t notice. Like at all.

So, those “Free Katie” signs that they were holding up last night, the night of Katie’s preview opening — wasn’t about the jeans. Naturally, they alluded to Tom Cruise’s purported captivity of Katie, and his, uh, forced influence of L. Ron Hubbard and his teachings.

Outside of the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre stood roughly 30 protesters chanting “Scientology kills!” very, very loudly. Tom Cruise feigned ignorance — with the exception of his sweaty pits.

He later told AP that his wife’s performance was “extraordinary.” That was after he hugged Dustin Hoffman in the theater, which drew another round of applause.

Katie stood outside with John Lithgow looking a bit humbled by all the protesters wearing V for Vendetta masks. That should have been me, mused Katie. Not Natalie Portman.

Source: Katie Holmes’ Broadway Debut Marred By Protesters (HuffPo)

Photos: A. Miller/WENN; Anthony Dixon/WENN; Joseph Marzullo/WENN

It’s a bitch when your twin can’t keep up.

Ashley, left, wants to dress the opposite sex (not just dress like ‘em). Both twins control their high-end label The Row, but Ashley will conceive the men’s line without Mary-Kate. Again, it’s a bitch when your twin can’t keep up.

An In Touch insider snipped: “Ashley really wants to be a respected businesswoman and be taken seriously. MK does, too, but she hasn’t been willing to give up her lifestyle and act like an adult for their job.”

Note to Ash: Being a businesswoman doesn’t mean looking like a business man. Note to MK: But pants would help.

Mary Kate isn’t completely ousted from the Olsen empire, however; she’ll still work on Elizabeth and James. That’s their lower-end stuff.

No offense! LYLAS, Ash!

Sources: One for the Boys… Close Shave… Best Dressed… (WWD)
Olsen Vs. Olsen (Perez)

Photos: WENN

OK, this is easy for me. I choose Diablo (more below).

I am not a masochist (like one Perez reader), and would not pay/endure/live through any act of Stand-Up Comic John Mayer’s. He was, of course, unable to shut up about his ex at the Comedy Cellar in New York.

So, there’s Diablo, Oscar-winning scribe of Juno. Evidently, she’s suffered various hate rants from hateful bloggers. They hate Diablo Cody. Haaaate.

The once thoughtful, regular blogger broke her radio silence last night with a MySpace post that addressed her passionate non-fans — and I laughed. Laughed way more than I would have at John Mayer’s poor-me comedy act. Yay-me, as Diablo has proven, is a better bit.

The entire thing is a must-read in BFF’s book, but the written gem below kinda makes you wonder if she should be the only person in this world that should be allowed to wear leopard print again:

“I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money.”

(Totally not your fault, Diabs.)

Sources: Diablo Cody Finally Snaps, Joins Hollywood Bragosphere (Gawker)
He Should Stick to Making ‘Music’ (Perez)

Photos: WENN; Apega/WENN

(Us asks, "Are the new 90210 girls too skinny?" So predictable.)

If you’re not “too skinny,” then you’re pregnant. Like Eva Longoria.

Us Weekly, ever the clever weight-retriever, reports that 90210 new girls, Shenae Grimes and Jessica Stroup, weigh 90 lbs and 100 lbs, respectively. BFF purports that “pregnant” (or “just fat”) Eva might weight 110 — at most. But 10 lbs is all a girl in Hollywood needs to lose/gain — depending on which end of the gossip spectrum you’d prefer to straddle.

But you wanna know what’s more offensive than “too skinny?” or “pregnant?”

It’s “so svelte!”

Because that, of course, means you were … kinda big before. In addition, you probably weren’t pretty enough to be popular (and therefore, no ability of casting pregnant rumors), but now that you’re thinning it down, girl, you’re “so svelte!”

Like Anne Hathaway. She’s totally a victim of “so svelte!”

Image: Us Weekly

And what kind of disdain does America Ferrera have for Lindsay Lohan?

In the current Seventeen, America makes it clear that she high-and-mightily disapproves of dear-friend Blake Lively’s 9-to-5-er, Gossip Girl. Lindsay, her sporadic guest on Ugly Betty, is the, like, icon of what Gossip Girl stands for. Therefore, America must think Lindsay, herself, conditions us to be mean, too.

Looks like America has fallen prey. What Mean Girls do is bitch.

Here, the two appear at last night’s Ugly Betty fete at Highbar — taking pictures separately.

Photos: WENN

(And!! Your last name is GRIMES.)

Shenae Grimes, 90210’s new Brenda, is adopting rather unfavorable habits from her loose muse.

The frequent “Who the hell are you?” quips to unassuming guest stars are raising who-the-eff-is-she eyebrows. According to Page Six, she’s reported to be “tormenting everyone on set” and “acts rude to the cast, crew and extras.”

Please, girl. Word is, you drive a Jetta.

Source: ‘90210′ GIRL GONE WILD? (Page Six)

Photo: Michael Wright/WENN

(An example of blondes having more fun with unexplained intelligence.)

A blonde carrying a baby — thought to be Jamie Lynn Spears carrying Maddie — was pap-ganged by swarms of photographers and videographers. The girl was blond, wore sunglasses indoors, and she was encircled by an army of cops — the paps had no reason to check the chick’s ID.

Meanwhile, the real Jamie Lynn and Maddie whistled out of baggage claim — and not a single pap profited.

Police deny any tomfoolery and said they weren’t escorting the decoy. Yet TMZ makes superawesome claims that Brit’s folks had called for a security escort the day before; that cops were concerned for the safety of the unknown woman’s baby; that the cops acutally planned the entire stunt and higher-up pigs are very upset.

But to the commoner’s eye, it’s as if Jamie Lynn planned it all. She is lauded for her genius — just this once.

Sources: Jamie Lynn Decoy Triggers Investigation (TMZ)
Look-alike Spears dupes photogs (Jam/AP)

Photo: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN

(Bad de la Rentas. Bad!)

The shining ghetto star that was Jenny From the Block has, well, diminished. No one knows better than Jennifer Lopez. I mean, when we didn’t give a hoot about her twins? Oof.

Thus, her decision to run a triathlon. And, thus, her decision to guest-judge the season finale of Project Runway (well, what may have been an aggressive pin-down of Heidi Klum on the runway until Heidi agreed …).

But none of that is happening. None of it. No triathlon. No Runway. Why?

(Well, now she says she is running a triathlon. Hmm…)

Because J.Lo effed her foot up.

The lesson? Jennifer can’t top Posh, and she should never, ever try again.

Today, the Runway finale tapes, and the squeezable Tim Gunn will sit in J.Lo’s spot.

Source: Jennifer Lopez Drops Out of Project Runway Season Finale (Us Weekly)

Photo: Anthony Dixon/WENN